Why Your New Year’s Resolutions Might Not Be Working For You

My New Year’s resolutions are usually based in a philosophy for the year.  I start this off by using a simple philosophy such as ‘Make it Fun’.  As a broad spectrum approach to the year it’s a useful reminder to create joy as I walk my path.  In the past I used ‘Try Something New’ and ‘Make it Effective.’

As we are a quarter-way into the year, I thought it was worth reviewing some principles that help me deal with the to-do list that is never ending.  In dealing effectively with my to-do list it supports my philosophical approach for the year.

I published this post in 2015 and it is still the method I use to create effective New Year’s resolutions.

My To-Do List

I start off by dividing my tasks into NON-NEGOTIABLE and NEGOTIABLE

NON-NEGOTIABLES are the activities that fall into the category of cleaning your teeth , showering every day, exercise, meditation, relaxation, paying the mortgage and so on. These are tasks you never think about and never miss. For me – holidays also fall in this bracket as I know the power of refreshing your mind is often the key to switching creativity on.

NEGOTIABLES are activities you have some flexibility about. So for me exercise falls into the non-negotiable category, but the time I exercise is negotiable. Filing, social media posting tend to fall into the negotiable bracket for me (not saying that’s the right thing).

Actually, anything that doesn’t get done or drifts tends to fall into the negotiable bracket.

Negotiables tend to take up more thinking time, as you are always thinking about the things you want to do but you haven’t done.

Once you have made your list of negotiables start at looking at how committed you were to each task. Now by commitment I mean have you made a powerful decision to move forward into this particular direction. Once you commit you have made a decision. The commitment is followed through by using your resources, your time, your energy, your money, and so on to make that decision come to life. You take responsibility and care for every aspect of your goal when you are fully committed.

If the goal isn’t happening then you have to look at the last piece of this puzzle which is CONNECTION. How connected were you to the task you set? If you were not emotionally connected to a task then it was in negotiable pile and you hadn’t committed.

You can create connection by being committed, by taking small steps every day and creating a habit. But ultimately CONNECTION happens when the WHY of what you are doing makes sense of YOU.  If you are connected to your goal through the feeling of struggle, then the ‘WHY’ of the goal is the wrong reason for YOU.  Find another reason and another ‘WHY’ that fits in your values.  In that way you won’t need to use discipline or resolve.

If you want some assistance in understanding your relationship with some of your goals, try out our free Diamond Card reading

Lucille Henry PhD.