How to make co-dependent relationships work

What is the price you are willing to paying for Love – Your life? 

How many people do you know that compromise what they want in relationship, business or employment? Who, in order to have approval, support and security ignore something that is important to them. The job or relationship may answer their fear of not feeling accepted, fear of being alone and unsupported and fear of not doing something purposeful and so on. But with such limited foundations those relationships are challenged to grow and these fears roll around again.

Everyone forms relationships.  Whether it is with your boss, bank manager, your mother, your husband, there is a mutual exchange based on needs (business, friendship, partnership, marriage). Each of those relationships is based on a foundation which is important to both parties.  Within this foundation is the source/root of your needs.

In today’s blog we are focused on co-dependencies – the relationships we form in order to meet hidden emotional needs.

In the past co-dependency was given a bad rap, but it’s not all bad; However a lack of awareness will make the relationship foundations shaky. In general, there is nothing wrong with co-dependencies, you meet this hidden need and I will meet yours. As long as you are both getting what you want everyone is happy.  In fact co-dependencies can be great for the business world.  You scratch my back and I will scratch yours.

So why do some relationships become co-dependent toxic?  Well it all depends on the need and the price you are prepared to pay to meet it.  Simply put, it’s the cost!!

For instance, your friend makes a disparaging comment about you or your partner amongst your group, feeling embarrassed you say nothing, and it becomes the price you pay for this friendship and belonging to this group of people.

What if your business partner is highly aggressive and insults your clients.  If you do nothing about it, the loss of clients that results becomes the cost you are willing to pay for this relationship.

You see if you pay too much to have your needs met eventually you will run out of whatever currency you pay with.  You then come face to face with the underlying emotional need that formed the basis of the relationship.  You have run out of resources because essentially you’ve paid too much.

When the price you are paying is too high for the relationship and you accept less than you want it means that hidden within the emotional need lays a fear.  Now that might work for a while but it won’t solve your problem. Eventually you will face that fear again.

What’s the answer?

Stop paying high prices for shoddy services. Understand that you have agreed to this and stop playing the blame game. You don’t have to do too much. Understand that any relationship you have with another person is a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself.

Connect with the emotional need or fears that underlie each of the relationships that you find unsatisfying. The awareness and intention of this knowledge will allow you to let go of all that doesn’t serve you.  In that way the price of relationship will not be so high!