Your Higher Self guides you to learn how to say ‘no’. Only then will you be able to fully and wholeheartedly connect to your core and bring flow to your life. In saying ‘no’ appropriately you are really saying ‘yes’ to life.

In choosing this card you have identified a part of yourself that has difficulty saying the word ‘no’. As a result your internal dial is always switched on to ‘yes’. This leaves you feeling depleted of energy, disconnected from Source, out of flow and unable to manifest what you value.

The struggle to say ‘no’ is usually caused by the meaning we give to the word. We hear the sound of loss in the word ‘no’ and it defines an empty space in the heart that will be confronted if we speak it aloud. The inability to say ‘no’ hides a fear of rejection, fear of commitment, of being trapped; a fear of limiting your choices, feeling empty, alone, frightened, anxious and worried about what someone will say, do or think about you. ‘No’ may mean guilt for you. You think, ‘This job, area, person, etc., is my responsibility and therefore I will feel guilty if I follow my heart and intuition.’ Maybe the fear of saying ‘no’ is a form of anticipation filled with the ‘What ifs’, ‘What exciting adventures will I miss out on if I say ‘no’?’

This anxiousness, fear of missing out, fear of rejection, of not wanting to appear stupid or lacking knowledge in the eyes of others is driven by your desire for acceptance and in that desire you lose contact with your inner core and its needs. When aspects of you become a ‘yes’ person, you lose contact with what you truly feel about a situation. You therefore cannot vocalise the ‘no’ at your core because you are no longer connected to it. With the ‘yes’ switch always turned on you create the experience of frustration at not being acknowledged or heard. You create the disconnection from the other person and yourself. In that lack of connection you feel empty. You misinterpret this emptiness as being caused by something or someone outside of yourself. The reality is that the ‘no’ you want or need to say has become distorted by saying ‘‘yes’ indirectly.

You can, however, learn to look at the dilemma of whether to say ‘no’ or ‘yes’ – and the emptiness you feel – in a different way. Any emptiness you feel defines an area within you that has not yet been developed and is there to highlight a boundary of your identity and self-image that has not been set within you. When you struggle to say ‘no’ you let others define you and shape your world. Your time and your resources (both internal and external) are all dictated by those to whom you cannot say ‘no’. Your parents, friends, family, children or job will mould your world to suit them as long as your automatic ‘yes’ is switched on.

You want to say ‘no’ but your fear acts like a dam blocking its release. Without the skill or inner muscle to vocalise this simple two-letter word, ‘no’ gets lodged in your throat. The energy of the ‘no’ living inside of you builds up. Emotions are used by the inner self to give you directions. When the pool of emotional energy built up from the inner core goes unacknowledged and remains unexpressed it has no flow. The automatic ‘yes’ then leaves you spread too thinly and you run out of energy. You are unable to conserve your time or your emotional resources because you’ve got to be everything for everybody.

And so you create the lessons you experience by not listening to yourself and not expressing what you really want to say: you block flow by not saying ‘no’. The build-up of the powerful energy of ‘no’ within you spills out; it gets released indirectly as an emotional manipulation. There are many ways to express and release the energy of ‘no’ without using your voice. ‘No’ is conveyed through withdrawal, the use of guilt, anger and resentment, shaming others or sulking. This creates confusion for those around you as you are giving mixed signals. Even when you say ‘yes’ you are still reluctant, resentful and worried or not fully committed to what you have agreed to. Others around you will feel or see this energy of ‘no,’ the ‘yes, but …’ in your behaviour – and they may experience it as anger. You also feel angry with yourself if you have not clearly said ‘yes’ or ‘no’, or if you refuse to make a decisive choice. The person who you are interacting with – even yourself – will not be clear about your boundaries. They and you will not be able to respect those boundaries because they are not set at all or you’re ignoring them by not clearly saying what you want.

We use our self-image and identity as a way of measuring the world around us. If you don’t know what matters most to you, you will have no clearly defined core values by which to measure your world against and you will be unable to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. A definitive ‘yes’ or ‘no’ is an appropriate expression of and an ability to express from your core values. Being able to say ‘no’ and ‘yes’ is a key tool for setting the boundaries of your identity.

‘No’ is one of the most powerful words we can use. It is a positive word full of the potential for freedom. When you embrace the word ‘no’ you embrace yourself and your dreams. You give yourself choice and the ability to maintain your health, balance and emotional well-being. You can say ‘no’ to food and drink that may not be good for you. You can say ‘no’ when others ask you to assist them with different projects if the commitment of time will compromise your health, emotional and financial well-being, and so on. The number of ‘no’s’ we say helps clarify a picture of ourselves and this information in turn helps us interact with our world efficiently. You respect and honour yourself and in return are respected by others. Saying ‘no’ effectively from your core creates the safety for you to open your heart and love because you can protect yourself. Through the word ‘no’ you can state what is acceptable to you in a relationship and in this way your heart knows it is safe to connect. Saying ‘no’ does not leave a residue of guilt. In fact, when you say ‘no’ to others you open up all possibilities and opportunities that would not exist if, in your desire to please, you had said ‘yes’. In using the word ‘no’ you define yourself to others. When we let people know who we are we have real and satisfying relationships with them and the world around us. Knowing how to use the power of saying ‘no’ appropriately will enable you to use the power of ‘yes’ effectively through aligning with your core.

The journey of life is one of discovery. In the words of Shakespeare, ‘To thine own self be true.’ You are learning who you are, learning to define yourself through using the muscle and practice of saying ‘no’; you are becoming your own person. By being true to yourself you turn the auto-matic ‘yes’ switch to the off position and conserve your energy. Through the use of ‘no’ you will direct your energy and your emotional resources to where you want to go. Your inner core becomes your Source to restore flow. ‘No’ is the key to realising your full potential on this very human journey.

Each day practice saying ‘no’ aloud. Say it in joy. Learn to say ‘no’ and in doing so, you say ‘yes’ to life. Your life will be one of freedom. This is the freedom to choose who you want to be.

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It is time to accept that the events that have occurred are the foundation or preparation for the life to come. Your Higher Self is asking you to acknowledge that whatever experience has caused you pain, your heart is ready to heal.

Who do you want to forgive (or not)? Make a list of the people and events that you have yet to forgive. Those we don’t forgive are with us all the time. The unforgiven people and events will travel with you throughout your life; they will hang in the distance like dark clouds over all of your great journeys. No matter what new and great experiences come into your life, the unforgiven areas will continue to cast a shadow on your heart. Unresolved they puncture and your heart still bleeds in its loss.

What are the transgressions that your inner self has not resolved; careless words spoken, a lack of consideration for your boundaries, childishness, pet-tiness, friends and family that let you down? Is the unforgiven transgression an act of judgement, humiliation, betrayal at your expense causing a loss of dignity or respect? Do you still carry your anger towards the belittling or humiliation you experienced from caregivers, schoolmates or colleagues? Or is the open wound in your heart rooted in loss whereby something or somebody that you love has been taken away?

In your struggle to forgive you may be grappling with the feelings of self-judgement. If so, your inner voice is loud in its self-condemnation over actions you have taken or for missed opportunities. You hear the voice of judgement berating yourself for making a poor choice and doing the wrong thing, saying, ‘if only I had paid attention, if only I had listened to myself ’. In these moments you find it difficult to understand the process of why you made certain choices. In your confusion there is no compassion. In these moments of blame the person you most need to forgive is you.

When we are faced with the act of forgiveness we are confronting and reconciling a loss of love. It is hard to forgive when what you love and value – the loss of your dignity, respect, security or someone that you love – has been taken away. Forgiveness is a choice. In choosing this card you are signalling that you are ready to forgive. There are various stages that we negotiate in this process of forgiveness in our journey to heal from the loss of love. In the first stage – however momentary it may be – the fundamental experience is a loss of connection between yourself and the person who has hurt you or between yourself and what and who you love. Central to your loss is a disconnection from your inner core.

When your world is in turmoil and you are overwhelmed by powerful feelings, your link to your core self is disrupted and your world is disoriented by the change you experience. At this stage your emotional foundation- what you think and feel that creates your world, how others relate to your world and how you relate to them – is shaken. In your loss you have been unlinked from what you know. The unlinking you feel is real. It is the start of a new path that you may not want to travel or may not be ready for. As you continue to negotiate the experience of your loss you may consciously distance yourself from the cause of your pain by withdrawing emotionally. People often take this action in order to protect themselves and give themselves the time and space to make sense of what has happened.

In moving through the loss you then actively transition by asking the question ‘Why?’ Yet hidden behind this ‘Why?’ is the desire for accountability and acknowledgement for your pain. This stage of reordering and revisioning is where you can get stuck because you cannot answer the questions and do not receive the acknowledgement you seek. You hold on to the feeling that the other person is getting away with something, that they should be punished for what they did or at the least they should be accountable in some way. And so your anger or resentment remains fixed. And flow stops.

With no ability to release and heal from a loss, your system continues to produce emotions (anger, blame, resentment), which have now risen to an intensity such that your system is sending you a red alert warning that you haven’t acted on any of the emotional signals thus far and that it is now time to act. You have been and continue to be in an emotionally unsafe situation. However, the purpose of this built-up emotion is to give information and help you integrate and pull the experience together. If you are not able to release the emotional signal then you are still processing your pain of loss.

Look towards your emotions for the guidance you seek. When you lack forgiveness it is a call to understand and act on the message lodged behind your pain. The message may be calling you to learn how to protect yourself by vocalising your needs and speaking up for yourself. Until you do, you will walk away from the situation and from the people that you associated with your pain still holding your resentment intact. Without forgiveness you are forever emotionally tied to what has hurt you. Once you understand what your inner self wants you to know – the emotional signal can be released. Forgiveness occurs when you are able to either perceive the situation differ-ently or you develop the emotional skills to resolve the situation and restore your emotional balance and safety.

Another reason you may find it difficult to forgive is you have not yet understood the purpose behind the emotion from this experience. You may have not fully completed the process of grief at your loss. In your grief you are still experiencing the emotions of anger, denial and resistance that will lead you finally to acceptance. When you have transitioned through all the stages of grief you will then be able to release your emotional attachment to the reason of your loss and perceive the loss in a different way.

There are some who choose not to forgive. The nature and effect of the loss is so deep they choose to hold onto their anger indefinitely as a badge to honour their experience. In others the choice not to forgive is made so that they can find a form of power source – an emotional fuel – whereby their anger allows them to set a boundary with another – possibly as a way to punish and achieve the accountability they’re looking for. Another person may choose not to forgive because the experience of loss has uncovered a fragile identity causing them to question their whole existence. They are disconnected from their core, their emotional foundation is disturbed and they have no sense of self. In the experience they are looking to other people to validate them. Because they lack the ability to establish boundaries of their identity they do not forgive as a way to establish the boundary line; the anger forms the line they wish to set. In this case the anger actually reinforces their sense of self, their identity; it defends them and retains their sense of self saying, ‘I’m not responsible, I’m not that person who is judged’. With a fragile sense of self the person feels the very act of forgiveness will mean that they are giving in, that it may detract from them, will somehow diminish them; forgiveness will make them appear to be in the wrong. Essentially their anger – or other emotions – forms the boundary of their personal identity that they otherwise struggle to set. If you identify with any of these scenarios you are being called to choose differently. You are ready to release your anger and connect to the deeper vulnerabilities that you have been protecting through your anger.

Hidden behind your lack of forgiveness and the anger that has deflected your hurt, or protected, you are the limiting beliefs by which you live your life, such as ‘I am powerless, worthless, unlovable’, etc. These vulnerabilities you find difficult to grasp and release. These deeper emotions point you towards the guidance your inner self wants you to know. These are the rules you live by and the rules you are now ready to release. The purpose of forgiveness is to release the emotional attachment you have to your pain from loss. The loss from what has happened is real, yet it is of the past. The unforgiven aspect within you keeps the pain of the loss very much alive in the present in order to help you change the rules.

Through forgiveness there comes a new sense of self. You reorder and make sense of your world from a new light. In this revision of what you un-derstand you unlink from the pain and release it. From your vulnerability you gather all of the information that has been part of this experience and use it to rebuild your core identity. By reconnecting to your core self you reconnect to Source. This reconnection enables you to unlink from the emotions of the experience. The pain and hurt dissolve. You will understand new aspects of yourself and will develop new emotional capabilities.

In this new vision of the world it does not make the wrong action right, nor does it take the onus from the other person to be responsible for what they have done. That is their personal journey of accountability. A new relationship with yourself and your world does not make the unthinkable acceptable. What it does is connects you to an inner life that sustains you. You are no longer the victim; your forgiveness is no longer focused on the person who hurt you but on the process of growth that you have experienced. On the other side of loss, through forgiveness, you come to see that loss has brought you to a new and substantial inner strength. In this forgiveness is your emotional and spiritual growth.

Forgiveness for many will be that we simply ‘let go’ of people and the events that were the catalyst for our growth – because we have grown beyond them. Others will feel completion when they say the words ‘I forgive you’. With those words they take back what they have lost – themselves.

As with all experiences we lose our self to find self. Forgiveness is the light, it is the sunshine that will clear away the clouds, which cast a dark shadow over your heart. At the core of forgiveness is love. Forgiveness is the path to your freedom. Welcome that behind all that is unforgiven within you is your sun – your Source – that is you.

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In choosing this card you still allow your fear to prevent you from creating the life you want. Your Higher Self is asking you to acknowledge that your inner self is communicating with you through your fear. Pay attention to the signal that your inner self has given you to dissolve your fear and connect to the true self within.

Fear is based in the potential for loss. You fear what you may lose such as a sense of self, an identity, your reputation, the loss of a relationship, money or time. Fear shows up in our lives in different ways. Sometimes fear is a signal that an immediate threat like a snarling tiger is at hand. The loss of a job, the ability to make rent or mortgage payment, not enough money to buy food, public speaking, final exams, the end of a relationship, suffering a life-threatening illness, and so on, are all threats that have the potential to create loss or are life altering. These real and immediate dangers can create a strong fear response.

Other times fear is created through the natural and positive process where-by the brain is fully engaged assessing and predicting future outcomes based on past events or beliefs. In these predictions the brain tends to highlight the most difficult events of your past to ensure that you do not go through these situations again. The information culled from these events creates the bubble of your existence. Inside the bubble are all the rules that you live by, rules based on the beliefs created by these past experiences ranging from ‘It’s my job to look after everyone’, ‘I am really good at my job’, to ‘earning money is a struggle’, ‘I’m not allowed to raise my voice’, ‘its selfish to talk about myself ’, ‘it’s not safe to shine/excel’, and so on. The brain’s function of keeping you safe forecasts based on your red-alert experiences and sub-sequent beliefs, which oftentimes cause your brain to project fear inducing doomsday scenarios.

Holding this bubble firmly in place is a protective band beyond which is the unknown. The band is vigilant in its watch for the red alerts. It is not concerned with the positive events of your past because they present no potential danger and have no red flags attached. The purpose of fear is survival and protection of your DNA, of your physical body as well as keeping you safe from what your mind believes will harm you and preserving all that you are (your identity). And although in this way the purpose of fear is positive, it can also stop you from moving beyond the protective band that keeps your bubble of safety in place.

The information your fear gives you – the images connecting through your emotions – is designed to produce immediate and life-preserving action. The biological and primitive fear response, which produces the fight/flight/freeze impulse, is a short sharp burst of activity. The symptoms of panic, a racing pulse, a feeling of being disconnected and isolated, combine to give you the red alert emotional signal designed to make you act. A mother will run at super speed to remove her child from harm’s way.

However, the primitive part of the human brain responsible for this heightened response is also constantly seeing danger in situations that are not life-threatening. The result is you believe in the illusions of these forecasts because the response to fear is primitive and from a place of survival. When you engage in the forecasts and images you give them an emotional reality.

These illusions have a healing function as well. They are there to give the thinking part of your brain very important but hidden information that tells you the rules you live by, your capabilities, what skills you lack and what your beliefs are. Essentially these illusions point you to your boundaries, to the protective band at the edge of your bubble. You experience fear precisely because you feel you don’t have access to the resources you need either internally or externally for emotional balance and safety. And so you are likely to approach life full of doubt, always questioning ‘Am I good enough? Does my boss think I am doing a good job? Will I get a promotion? Will I pass my examinations? Is my job safe? Will I find a new job? Will I meet a new partner?’, and so on. You have not yet learned to recognise that the information you are being given through your fear is designed to help you access the resource (Source) you need to learn new skills, set new boundaries and enter the dance of intimacy that you seek.

You and so many other people who respond from this primitive place re-main in the cycle of fear. Disconnected by your fear from flow, from Source, you become isolated and disoriented. You unlink from the flow of energy that provides the answers and the help you need. You lose the connection to your inner core and Source. You are in the mode of survival – the survival of your identity, survival of your safety, and so on. Survival is based on ‘enough’ – on crossing the line of ‘enough’. Everything that is done is just ‘enough’ so that if you struggle to meet bills, when you do find the money you need it is always just enough and never more than enough for you to relax. You breathe a momentary sigh of relief, ‘Whew, survived this month’, but you cannot relax because the next month is on the horizon. To move out of survival you have to look at all of the images of your fear and seek the clues of information that are hidden within.

Each fear points to boundaries of your identity (who you think you are), and for this reason – because it is fear pointing to the boundary – you know it has been incorrectly set and is false. These boundaries can be judging yourself a failure, feeling like a victim or not good enough, always needing to prove yourself, having a lack of forgiveness for past mistakes, or people-pleasing in order to stay safe, and so on. In all cases your fear is telling you that you don’t have the capability to cope with the current situation. However, instead of recognising the area of growth that is being highlighted you retreat into the pattern of survival doing the same thing over and over again. Each fear that you experience points you in a different direction. Even those who are facing loss are guided by fear towards the support and love they seek.

Examine your fear. What does your inner self want you to acknowledge? What is it asking you to do?

1. Fear acts as a warning sign. When you pay attention to your fear you will find a message. The message may be saying you don’t trust this person or situation. Listening to your fear allows your intuition to surface into your conscious mind.
2. Fear signals your personal boundaries that are compromised. Your inner self wishes you to set these boundaries with others. Examine the intensity of your fear. If you have been reluctant to set these boundaries with your family, friends or colleagues (you may fear conflict or feel you lack the necessary skills of assertiveness through communication) your level of fear will increase until you pay atten-tion. The intensity of your fear will lead you to believe that you will be harmed emotionally, physically or spiritually if you do not act. Look at the skills you require to set your boundaries.
3. Fear highlights aspects of self that are under developed. There may be aspects of your identity that are not fully developed. Your sense of self may not feel complete or strong due to undermining self-beliefs learned through your years of development. In this case your fear points you towards the boundaries of self you are ready to put into place. When you pay attention to your fear you will find the areas that are not fully formed, damaged by the inner critic, feelings of powerlessness, scarcity, not feeling good enough – areas that discon-nect you from Source.
4. Fear motivates and directs the form of preparation required to help you move beyond the bubble of safety towards achieving what you want. Like all emotions your feelings of fear tell you what to do. Even when you are confused, procrastinating and lacking motivation to create change, your inner self may be using fear to motivate you and will guide you towards the right direction. For instance, fear propels you to study harder before exams, to create a business plan, to organise yourself, and so on.
5. Fear acts as a precursor to mastery. Cross the barrier and your mind will be free. A new beginning awaits you.

Fear is an emotional signal that will not be ignored. It does not go away. Reflected in your fear are your values, what is important to you, the areas where you feel strong and where you do not. The fear represents a composite of yourself, your self-doubts, where you feel powerless. It lies rooted in what you feel you have no control over. All areas where there appears to be no route or solution available to you, or where someone else or nothing is in control will create fear. Always remember that the force – intensity – of your emotion (fear) is designed to make you act. If you do not pay attention to the information your fear has prepared for you or suppress the data, your mind will increase the amount of emotion supplied to the image/s (you now fear) and amplify your fear until you do act.

You are learning the skills to release the fear that underlies or overwhelms you. As you move beyond your fear and the protective band holding your safety bubble (and its limitations) in place, you may feel out of control in sight of a brave new world, fraught with the uncertainty and fear of loss. But if you only ever stay safe inside the bubble and never explore what is beyond, you will always experience a sense of loss – the loss of yourself. Releasing and dissolving your fear requires you to face what your fear means in order to connect to your core self. When you connect to (rather than avoid) the information within your fear, what the fear tells you about yourself, you will come to understand that your fear does not ask you to take unnecessary risks. Nor does it ask you to take risks for which you are not prepared. When you are connected into Source all fears dissipate. There is nothing more powerful. Once you act on your fear you will understand it has always been pointing you towards your Source and flow in order to fully embrace the journey of being yourself.

Celebrate that in choosing this card you have chosen to step outside your bubble and live beyond fear. You finally understand the treasure behind its gift – the ability to be who you were meant to be.

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Your Higher Self wants you to know it is now safe for you to commit to your dreams.

Ultimately commitment is an issue of identity. Your sense of self comes from the internal boundaries (the rules) you have set and live by. Whether you realise it or not, the way you live now fulfils the rules of your boundaries and who you believe yourself to be. You have plenty of rules of avoidance and safety, but no rules to define your dreams. A rule that defines your dream needs to exist and be included into your sense of self. Without any bound-aries/rules to define your dreams, your inner core will not be connected to them. Setting these boundaries/rules is the key aspect of commitment. Only then will you be able to make a commitment in awareness and hold to the commitment you have made. Only then will you find the motivation to create your deep desires.

In choosing this card your Higher Self is telling you that although you are fearful of making a commitment, the time has come for you to move beyond this fear. Until now you have created a false freedom by not fully committing to your hopes and dreams, and are missing out on creating and experiencing what is really important to you. The ability to commit is not based on whether this is the right person, the right time or the right job. Your ability to commit depends instead on you facing and releasing the fear lodged deep within your heart that you are not good enough. Commitment is felt in the joy of being able to say who you are and knowing you are all that you need to be. Celebrate that in choosing this card you are now ready to make choices to explore who you are without fear. Cross the line and commit.

There may be many reasons why you struggle with commitment. One reason may be that you abide by rules that were set in place long ago. In historic times people who made a commitment or gave a vow were linked forever – for life – to whomever they pledged their allegiance. Any allegiance to a king or leader kept one safe. Breaking that vow jeopardised one’s honour and one’s life. Options and choices were much more limited back then, yet today we still unconsciously carry these historic rules into our present lives. The result is we sometimes fear making commitments because we believe they are for life – ‘You made your bed now lie in it’.

In addition to the rules carried from history, contemporary life creates its own rules which challenge one’s ability to commit. Although today it is not life-threatening to change a vow and may just reflect a change in life circumstances, a modern rule for making a commitment or vow is a whole-hearted intention and a total dedication of your energy and resources to the area of your choice. Yet, today a wholehearted commitment becomes challenging in a society that is now more adaptive, where there are so many choices and where things change more quickly. You may fear getting boxed in, that if you make one commitment you will miss out on other experiences and limit your possibilities. Living into this fear, you hold off. Another contemporary challenge is that for some a commitment is a contract to self or others in which one is held responsible. This obligation can create a fear of being judged or controlled by others. This fear then limits a person’s ability to commit to what they want to create.

Whatever your reasons, your need to remain safe and free of your fear keeps you trapped inside a box of your own making – the very thing you are trying to avoid. Safely hidden inside this box you are unable to reach out or connect and therefore remain invisible or unaccountable to others. Making sure you are not accountable to others means you struggle to make choices or decisions. You have an inability to share your thoughts or feelings in rela-tionships. You are prone to procrastination – not doing or finishing jobs you have agreed to. In this state you never feel fully connected to those around you or your life and are always seeking something else. You might have one foot out of the box seeking the fulfilment of your dreams but even this is half-hearted. The price you pay for existing in your box is you feel isolated, unfulfilled and stifled.

To compensate for your fear of commitment you have created a life in which you are only semi-committed to what you want. These half measures occur because you lack awareness of your emotional needs and aspirational wants. You form semi-committed relationships based on unconscious agreements that meet your need for safety, financial security, being listened to, emotional backing, or acknowledgement at the expense of your dreams (and vice versa). Rather than accept full responsibility for your dreams, to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, write that screenplay, visit your grandparent’s native country, you see these dreams as the responsibility of the relationship, your partner or your job. You blame them for the lack of connection you feel towards your dream saying, ‘If only they would change, or the job was more interesting, if only I had more money, etc.’ You feel they lack a magic quality that opens the door of connection and fulfilment for you. The reality is you exist in your semi-committed or uncommitted state, holding yourself back in order to prevent forming the connection you seek. What you want is what you resist.

At the core of any fear of commitment is the fear that you are not good enough for the love you seek and the life you want. Your past experiences have taught you that love has a cost. Carefully protecting your heart you created a set of rules to guard you from these costs. These rules are based on low expectations – even no expectations – such as ‘Don’t expect to have the love you want because you will never get it.’ All of your energy is spent hiding these fears. Why bother committing when it is easier to give up rather than face ‘your reality’ – the feeling you don’t really believe you are going to get what you want? Better to just keep safe by making sure that you are never trapped, judged, controlled or obligated. You avoid these feelings by starting new jobs, new projects and new relationships, but without a wholehearted effort or the expectation of success. You live on the hope of your dreams rather committing to the actions for creating them. You are always in process without the full commitment of everything that you are. Based on these limitations it is a struggle to open your heart to receive what you want.

While your early experiences and rules stay hidden within your box you will remain vulnerable and will be unlikely to commit to anything that highlights these vulnerabilities. You will continue to protect your core feelings of fear and loss around making a mistake, abandonment, being disappointed, bored, judged, controlled or trapped. Letting these feelings from your past define you and determine your choices creates an infinite loop because you always go back to the place you started. You live into the fear that you can’t do it, are not up to it, or life won’t let you have what you want. Who told you that love exists in a limited supply or that you could only receive love if you were good enough? And do you really believe them now? Enough! It’s time to wake up, live in awareness to bring these old rules to light and change them.

It is now time to redefine the rules of safety and low expectations learned as a child from an adult perspective. See these rules in context of the whole life that you have lived, and recognise that you have created and you have achieved in some areas. For the areas on your dream list that are still left outstanding, it is time to connect and fully commit to what you want (the very thing you have been avoiding) and acknowledge that this aspect of self is important to you at your core. Whether you dream of having a committed and intimate relationship, having your own home or planting a beautiful garden, the key to making this change is to stop living as if you don’t really matter. You haven’t prioritised and connected to your desires, dreams and aspirations. Dreams are as important as your emotional needs and your emo-tional needs are as important as achieving your goals. Whatever is lacking in your life, recognise that it matters to you. When you do, your aspirations and dreams become a solid part of your sense of self. Your inner circle of responsibility is activated and from this place of connection you are able to live in the flow of creating what you want.

See every reason you have for not committing towards your dream as the key to your freedom. Each reason you have will help you find the boundary of your inner core. Once you are able to connect and set the new boundary of your true self you will be able to release your old rules (and feelings) and support the new rules stored within. Once established, nothing will break the new powerful connections within you. Each dream you connect to will have a fundamental value of importance (as important as safety). Your connection to this value will move your unmet aspirational want on your to-do list over to the done list.

Turn your dreams into reality. Rediscover each of your dreams and place them at the top of your list. Connect to self and to Source and then give these dreams your best shot. You are ready to let go of your half-hearted choices and commit fully to all that you are and all that you desire in your life right now. Release those aspects that you cannot commit to. Step out of the box of your own making. It is time. You are free to be yourself – to be all of who you are.

The post Please Do Not Box Me In appeared first on The Diamond Process.

You are so very busy that your mind never stops. It is time to stop and reconnect to the beauty of nature. Feel the pulse and heartbeat of the world around you and reconnect to Source.

Your mind has a running list of everything you need to do. Wherever you are, driving or even relaxing at the beach, your mind is somewhere else preparing shopping lists, making sure you don’t forget what the children need or what you need to do at work the next day. Whatever happens internally is reflected externally. So if your mind never stops then your external world keeps racing as well. The phone is constantly buzzing for your attention, the children are running a never-ending marathon inside your house, and every day is an extra busy day at work. It’s time to STOP the cycle, reflect and enjoy your life.

You have chosen this card to remind you to enjoy the moment. Drink in the sounds, tastes and pleasures of each season, the warmth of the summer sun on your body, the freshness of the spring air, a cosy nook on a cold win-ter’s day, or the brilliant colours of autumn. Enjoy the exquisite moments of a conversation; the deep connection between two people; even the natural smell of your baby’s poo. Each exquisite moment around you becomes not of time but beyond time, a connection with the wonder of life and in that moment you find what you seek – a union with the divine.

Come take one moment – just for one moment in time – as a divine gift for you. Sit in your garden, on a beach or in a nature reserve. Take a seat on a bench in the local town square or the square of grass outside the office window and let your mind explore its surroundings. For this one moment give your mind full permission to let go of all its worries. Now look around you. Focus on a leaf or the movement of water. Contemplate the sound of children laughing and playing. Listen to birdsong around you and let the songs call to you as they call to other birds. Look at the beauty that surrounds you. Notice that everything glows with a pulsating energy. This energy is life. Touch the leaves, touch the grass or water and let the energy feed and nourish you and your spirit. As you deepen your awareness of your surroundings, your stressed mind will simply let go to become still.

If you wish, ask a Spirit Guide to keep you company. Invite them to show you the real world of love and its simplicity. For the moment, pause and let the world take your breath away. Now take the energy of the natural world around you back into your everyday life. Restore your connection to the Source energy of love through simple and quiet moments in time just for you.

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You are ready to see the world around you through the eyes of love. You are the stars, the birds and the heavens; you are the ground beneath and the mountain tops.

You have come to completion in a major period of growth in your life, and if you allow this to happen you will experience the oneness of all life. Whether you chose self-esteem or a business venture as your goal, everything that you have worked for is now integrating into your being. It is now all coming together for you. Celebrate as you start to live your dream. Your dream is the start of a new path, new opportunities, and new ways of experiencing love.

The opposite of being at one is to be divided, fractured or to be opposed in resistance. Rarely are hearts and minds in agreement, as they have oppo-site jobs. The mind works as an assessor of all information and computes all of your sensory information to grade all experiences through a filter of safety. You indirectly relive every past experience every day when your brain compares current experiences to your past experiences. The quality and grade given to the current experience tells you whether it is safe (or when) to connect to a person or experience. The job of your heart is to give the experience of love, and this feeling is designed to create a connection.

When we look through the eyes of the mind, we are constantly assessing information, grading and sifting. Looking through the eyes of love is indiscriminate. Think of those simple moments when love is present: the wonderful feeling of falling in love, seeing your baby for the first time, the sheer pleasure when you have completed a project dear to your heart that you think is good; the teacher who sees a child’s eyes light up when they understand. There are many moments like these when we just connect; in that moment there is no thought, there is no filter assessing the amount or limit of love that we will give and receive in this situation. We open up and we connect. Love is the pure flow of energy from one heart to another.

Can you imagine living that way, not worrying about what others think, that although you haven’t had any evidence recently you know and trust that all is ok? Today you may have worried yourself sick about whether your pay cheque came through, and yet in choosing this card you are close to that place – knowing that all is ok or that you are in this moment at one with all around you. In this place, your mind has switched off and it is perfectly still. Your heart is flowing and you know peace. You experience everything in alignment with your inner core. What about starting to think of this way of being as the normal state from which at any given moment you can access this energy that flows from love? When you recognise that you are off-centre you will be able to connect back into your core. You start to think of and experience these moments of connection as normal. What used to be normal, the moments of resistance that hit to disconnect you from Source, have now become rare. When you see the world around you through the eyes of love you are living fully without disclaimers, no longer ready to withdraw with your reasons to disconnect behind every conversation.

You see, you wouldn’t need any special mantras, or processes to clear up your fear. If you felt off-centre, if you disconnected from Source, from your core, your awareness of self would listen to the message that your inner self has sent you. You would say, ‘I recognise I am off-centre. I have unlinked from my core and when I pay attention to the message that comes from my core and act on it; I will link straight back to that inner stillness.’ In that moment you would feel the movement of flow.

Be prepared that resistance will return. The next time a relationship hasn’t worked out or the bill arrives in the post, your brain may go back to its old way of thinking and assessing through its outdated filters of safety. But know in this moment that your heart is available to you, you hold a feeling of connectedness, being at one with your life and what it brings. You are totally in flow.

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Your Higher Self is calling you to stop blocking the energy and resources that are there for you to draw upon. The help you need is all around you. Your roots are planted in love.

Your Higher Self is telling you that it is time for you to learn how to receive. You suffer from a misunderstanding that in order to receive what you want you must deserve it. In choosing this card you are ready to learn that receiving – like giving – is part of the natural cycle of life. It happens automatically. Hold out your hands palm upwards and allow yourself to participate in the natural cycle of life and receive the love you seek.

The energy you want and are ready to receive comes from two sources: yourself and others. The first source of emotional energy you receive from is the connection to your inner core; you can create and generate energy from a strong sense of self through positive thoughts and feelings (about yourself and your capabilities.) In feeling good about yourself you open up to and connect to Source – a well of power within, which guides you towards and provides you with the energy you need. The second source of emotional energy you receive is from your connection to others. In your interactions with others there is an interplay and dance of energy. You give and take energy through your interactions with those around you. At its simplest, every person you interact with gives you a gift; street directions, information, wisdom, help with your housework, help with a project, or a kind smile. You might return the gift of energy back to the person through words of gratitude, acknowledgement and affirmation, or like ‘Pass the Parcel’ you pass on the good energy you have been given to someone else.

You see gifts of energy exchanged in everyday lives between parent and child, nurse and patient, singers and their audience, and so on. You are constantly in the process of giving and receiving energy. Energy exchange is what creates balance in the cycle of life. You convert the energy you receive from others into something else. It is easy to visualise how this cycle happens with plants and trees: they receive energy stored within the soil and absorb the nutrients to grow. The plant or tree does not question whether it deserves to receive what it needs. It takes exactly what is required to reach full maturity. And so it naturally soaks up the water through its roots and sends the water along to the buds that ultimately grow into ripened fruit or flowers. These in turn provide the energy source for other living creatures supporting the growth of insects, birds, animals and humans. In this example of the cycle of life, the plant receives life and then gives life as a consequence. The balance of life is created through this natural cycle of giving and receiving.

When you give, you restore balance by filling a void where there is a gap. You might fill a gap by giving time and resources to a friend, family member or colleague who needs help. On the flip side, when you receive you accept what you need – you accept a compliment, a gift of love, a hug, a smile, financial aid, and childcare, you welcome help cleaning and painting your home, and in doing so you fill a gap to restore balance. The giving and receiving fits together like a lock and key, and generates the connection that creates flow. You are being asked to receive as the plant receives, to acknowl-edge receiving with no reservations, resistance or judgements about getting exactly what you need so that you can reach your full maturity and potential. In receiving all that is yours to receive you fulfil your dreams, your purpose and potential to be all that is yours to be. And in turn you become the source of life-affirming energy for others in the cycle of life.

In choosing this card you have identified a part of you that is unable, or is refusing, to receive what Spirit and others offer. This part of you has yet to understand that through giving and receiving you create connection, flow and balance. Adding to your difficulties in receiving are the false beliefs you have about yourself. These beliefs have disconnected you from your inner core and have blocked the natural flow of energy towards you. False beliefs suck all the nutrients from your soil and create poor conditions so that you struggle or feel unsupported in the journey to creating what you want. These beliefs, such as, ‘I’m not good enough, I’m unlovable, I haven’t done anything to deserve’, affect your ability to receive. The natural exchange of energy is blocked by false beliefs, such as, ‘I never get what I want; I am being selfish to ask, I don’t really need this, I’m responsible for this’, and so on. In judgement your beliefs may lead you to fear that others will think you incapable if you have a temporary shortfall or ask for help. You fear they will see you as weak, needy or dependent. Or you worry that if you ask for help or accept what others offer, they will have a form of power over you and you will feel obligated, undermined and vulnerable.

Those who struggle to receive can’t feel the praise in a compliment. The emotional support and affirmation they seek is given to them but they don’t have the structure in place for receiving so they brush the compliment off, feel uncomfortable or look towards only the next goal on their list. They can’t accept or feel the energy of support that is given to them.

Beliefs such as these are created in your formative years through the expe-rience and observation of the emotional interplay – energy flow – between your parents, siblings, teachers and other students. These beliefs form a pattern of receiving by which you now live; a pattern that reflects your early experiences. As a result, you repeat your childhood experiences as an adult by giving a lot of yourself for little in return from others. Look to your early years to understand the template that regulates your energy structure for giving and receiving. What did you have to do in order to receive the love you needed from caregivers who were emotionally withdrawn through ill health, overwhelmed by responsibility and work, lacking emotional stability or just plain cold? In the absence of love and feeling undeserving, do you only allow yourself to receive by first over-giving in order to feel worthy?

You become weighed down by such false beliefs. The balance of giving and receiving is tipped out of your favour and growth stops when you stop receiving the nutrients you need. You can over-give in different ways (accept-ing less pay, being a slave to your children or family, rescuing your partner). Or you can under-give by not giving to yourself. Participants in co-dependent relationships misguidedly believe that if they give enough love they can heal the person they love, help them find their way, cure their depression, and so on. They believe that they can create and receive the love they want by giving all their support to their partner. The distorted belief of someone who over-gives in this way could take the form of, ‘If I give enough love then I can help that person be happy, strong or better.’

If you hold these beliefs they create the structure for an imbalanced exchange of energy not in your favour. You forget that you too need to be nurtured in your relationship. Without the equal exchange of giving and receiving the relationship falls out of balance and doesn’t grow. Not only do you take away the opportunity from those who have already received and grown and are now ready to contribute to others, but in consciously or unconsciously refusing to receive you are disrupting the natural cycle of life.

To receive, one must be open and create a space to receive. When you ask a direct request of others or do so in visualisation, you are creating an energy gap between where you are and what you want. The gap is a space towards which your energy can flow in a balanced exchange of energy with others. As the energy flows, the gap is filled. Try observing in conversation with others those who receive easily. They understand and expect to receive, and so they leave a pause or a gap where others can contribute to the conversation. It is the same when the person asks for what they want; they leave a gap so that the space is created in which to receive what they want. They have a belief system, which forms the internal structure for a natural energy exchange, and this structure creates the path of flow.

Restore your natural cycle of flow through the following steps:

1. In order to receive you have to ask for what you want. Have clarity and own what you want.
2. Give yourself permission to receive and fully understand that you are restoring a natural balance of life by doing so.
3. Examine ways in which you can give to yourself. Do you need to give yourself time out in silence or in play?
4. Gratitude. Give thanks for what you are about to receive. By giving thanks you reprogramme your body to a new message of receiving.
5. Examine your childhood beliefs and conditioning. Who do you mirror in your family?
6. Choose two cards to identify where the blockage of energy flow occurs within your energy system. These cards identify where you find difficulty in receiving.

Allowing yourself to receive will fulfil you at your core. From your core connection you will allow yourself to fully connect to those around you. Ultimately self-realisation is not about self, being self-focused or selfish. Self-realisation is about connection, love and relationship. Reflect back on the plant and trees that have their roots firmly embedded in the rich soil from which they receive their nutrients. The resources they need are in front of them. It is time for you to learn how to receive. Stop resisting the soil below and the sun that shines overhead. Your roots are planted. Soak up all the nutrients that you need. Hold your palms upwards and receive.

The post You Are Learning to Receive appeared first on The Diamond Process.

In choosing this card you are being asked to change a fundamental perception about yourself. You are asked to see the love that exists within you and understand that you are lovable, you can be loved and you will love. Love is an energy of connection to self and flow that is there for all of us; when we connect to this energy we feel it. Love is as simple as that.

You are misperceiving events through your child’s eyes always seeking outside approval, love and security. The result is you are self-conscious all the time, questioning whether you deserve love. For instance, when others don’t agree with you, don’t respond to phone calls or emails, when you don’t get immediate feedback, and so forth, your child mind is reactive and fearful that you’ve done ‘something wrong’. You constantly assess whether you matter, are necessary or important, and perpetually worry and seek external validation that your contribution is appreciated and valued. This mispercep-tion makes the situation all about you. You cannot see the possible factors in the other person’s experience – they’re really busy, they had an emergency, someone at home is sick, and so on. You see from a child’s point of view.

Another misperception from your child’s mindset is the inability to act under your own will or take control of your life. Therefore you experience difficulty expressing what you want and become an audience to other peo-ple’s needs or ideas, thinking they are better or more important than yours; you feel that you should go with the flow or are fearful of missing out; your fear of rejection and other people’s judgement means that you live and are moulded by other people’s rules. This misperception is caused by a lack of understanding that you deserve love. Through the eyes of your inner child you cannot acknowledge your own love for self and continue to seek other people’s love to validate you.

Because your child mind is often unable to see any separation between themselves and another person, you continue to let other people set the boundaries of love for you. Your inner child’s desire to please means they do not link into their own Source and they disconnect from the love within.

Lacking in confidence, your child mind moulds its identity around the other person’s values, judgements, opinions and way of doing things. As a result you the adult struggle to distinguish yourself from what you see; from the projects you are involved with; or from what you read or view on the television or in the newspapers. You continue to find a boundary outside of yourself to give shape to your world and as a measure by which you can safely judge that world. This over-identification or a lack of separation of self from another person (or situation) creates a joining of your energy field to whatever is in front of you.

You are ready to unlink from others in order to perceive the world through a new filter and create a mould from within. It is time to connect to you in order to connect to Source. Rather than always seeking to fill your need for love from the outside and being on constant guard to defend yourself from rejection, you are being guided to open yourself to the flow of love from Source. Part of your struggle to complete this process of individuation – the unlinking from others to live under your own will – is an engagement within to keep this childhood story in place. You vigorously defend keeping alive the behaviours that have kept you safe until now. But this card is telling you it is your time for growth.

The key to clarity is understanding that learning to love yourself is indeed an emotional skill; it’s not magic, hey presto I feel love for myself. Love is a skill, and like any skill, it can be taught and learned, and gets better with practise. Let go of the fear that says you have to be deserving of what you want, or deserving of love. Real love is not dependent upon outside sources, on the condition that you are perfect; that sort of love makes us self-conscious and unavailable for love; that sort of love means we spend our energy living by the rules of being perfect through external achievements, sporting, academic or otherwise; perfect body, perfect grades, perfect everything. This misperception of love takes us further away from the flow that is love because we avoid the very substance of love, which is to connect with what is.

Love is flow. To love and be loved is part of our basic nature. The ability to feel love comes from the connection to oneself deep into the core of you. This connection to your core is your link into the flow of the energy of love which is always available when you plug into it. When you connect to flow love is present. The energy of love is that simple. When you connect to self you will feel the flow of love and your ability to connect with others will change. When you disconnect – through judgement, fear, separation etc. – you unplug and are unable to feel the flow of love. To understand and develop your ability to experience love, simply assess ‘Do I feel the flow of connection or am I disconnecting from what is in front of me?’ Assess who you connect with, and who you disconnect from (when you don’t use your own rules of love but rather try to find that flow by moulding your identity through another person). Once you develop this skill and become comfortable with the feeling of flow, you will learn to recognise where you are disconnected.

An example of this would be a moment of disconnection with a friend. In your friendship the connection between you is the conduit to love. When you share a special moment together you feel connected. Through this connection you feel love in the moment. However, disconnection occurs when you find out this friend has been talking about you behind your back. In your upset and anger you unplug from Source and in that moment of disconnection you don’t feel love. You find yourself withholding from your friend and refusing to speak to them. The skill of love is developed through the practice of reconnecting. When your judgement and anger at your friend unplugs you from Source you are being asked to go back to your core to identify your rules of love (and your constant fear of rejection), to understand the boundaries that were crossed and to reconnect to flow. Developing the emotional skill of love will strengthen your ability to stay connected and in flow, no matter what occurs between you and another person or outside circumstance. Love is always there for you.

In choosing this card you are ready to break from the mould of your childhood mindset and gain clarity from its misperceptions of love. You are standing at a doorway to redefine yourself, to mould your own identity through your ability to love yourself. It is time. Connect to your core and reset the rules of love. Enter the flow and the love will come automatically.

The post Clarity from the Misperceptions of Your Child Mind appeared first on The Diamond Process.

Your Higher Self is saying you are ready to let go of a false identity that is using the ‘wrong’ energy Source to maintain energetic balance and flow. Through this false identity (role you play for others) you try to garner energy from what is not real. You therefore never have enough energy and keep looking for top-ups from the wrong people and places for what you need. As a result you have entered an addictive cycle (eating, drinking, sexual activity, playing the martyr, rescuing, and so on) looking for energy.

In your attempts to find a Source of energy that will provide balance and flow you pretend to be confident and in control of your life both professionally and personally. You put on a good external face for your children and family, for your friends and colleagues, the face of responsibility, success, happiness and strength, a face that tells the lie, ‘I have it all together’. Or you put on the external mask of victim, martyr or loner to garner the energy you need. Your false external image hides the hole within you – the wounded emotional energy of your inner child. This hole is bottomless and will never be filled until you address the wound. Your emotional growth remains incomplete because you have been unable to set your boundaries of self.

Unconsciously fuelled by this wound you have been unable to create and set the boundaries that your inner child seeks for protection, boundaries that would close the hole and enable you to expand beyond the wound of the child into a new sense of self. Without these boundaries in place, the feelings that were initially created in your youth remain unchanged and charged. These unresolved emotions are providing you with the energy – the Source from which you live – and your attempts to neutralise and rebalance are leading into the addictive cycle of repetitive patterns that keep you in the experience of lack.

For instance, as a child you may have experienced a profound loss through the death of a parent, from parents who were emotionally unavailable or who withdrew because of trauma or illness. In your loss you may have experienced the loss of yourself, your innocence, your freedom as a child, the loss of safety and so on. As an adult you now manage your fear of loss by making sure that you never lose anything ever again. You are the perfectionist constantly focused on details. You organise, make plans, and then – to really make sure nothing goes wrong – you take on more responsibility. Your focus on the avoidance of loss takes up a lot of your energy. Yet instead of avoiding loss you repeat the same experience of loss – feeling overwhelmed, feeling unsupported, etc. You may ask others for help but you do not allow yourself to be vulnerable. You experience their different approach to life as clashing with your desire for control. They will eventually either tire of your need for control or trust you so completely that they stop helping you out. You constantly say to yourself and others, ‘I always have to do it myself ’ or ‘No one is ever there for me’, thereby solidifying your false identity. In the end you always feel the same: alone, burdened, without the support you seek and resentful.

Alternatively, you may manage your fear of loss by being irresponsible in meeting your own needs. You may expect others to meet your needs for you, or in isolation meet your needs through addictive patterns – food, drink, sex, work, etc.

To release this addictive cycle you have to first understand that the basis of your false identity is built upon faulty beliefs about yourself. These recycled thoughts, such as ‘I’m a loser’, ‘I never get what I want’, ‘I’m unlovable’,  ‘I can’t pay my bills’, are the beliefs connected to the wound. The crazy thing is you use this identity of competence (or incompetence), of super employee (or victim, etc.) as a shield for protection. Rather than being vulnerable by asking for what you want and need, you are motivated by and living on the false identity and energy of loss (or another such emotion) because it feels safe. Your struggle to maintain this self-image has arisen because you have not understood that the image you present to the world is not real for you at an emotional level.

Maintaining what is false takes energy similar to the energy you expend after telling a lie. Over time the fear that keeps the lie in place demands more and more energy. In the same way, maintaining a past event and its corresponding feelings uses up more and more of your inner resources. In this state you cannot connect to your core self and therefore do not know how to meet your emotional needs (because you have never admitted to them). Your addictive patterns of behaviour will remain in place until you understand their purpose in your life. Only then will you be able to create the energy from your core self to meet your emotional needs.

Part of the difficulty you experience in releasing your false identity is that you have a positive (self )-image associated with it. You might constantly resent being the person who does all the work, but you also enjoy the affirmation of praise, of being special, being seen as a capable, efficient and productive employee. Not only is there pleasure in the affirmation from others, there is also pleasure from your energy top-ups, the glass of wine at the end of the day, the camaraderie of drinking with friends. You may associate drinking alcohol with happiness, joy or a carefree time in your life. You treat yourself (on end) to that piece of chocolate or scoop of ice cream, recalling memories of happy occasions with family and friends. You see food as the friend that is always there for you. Happiness, however temporary, comes with the price of being plump, in debt, or alone, a price you struggle with but are currently willing to accept.

In addictive behaviour there is mindfulness that in that moment you release all the energy of fear and anxiety bottled up within you and avoid the emotion (fuelled by the wound) at the core of your identity. When receiving the praise from your false identity or the pleasure from your energy top-ups your mind temporarily disengages from its role of telling you which of your boundaries has not been set (and signalled through your charged emotions). It is now time to pay attention to those boundaries that were never set (or broken) within you.

The power of this card is the freedom to be you. Your Higher Self says that you are ready to release the old image of yourself (false identity) that needs the energy source from your addictions. When you do this, you will deactivate the outdated energy source (wound) and reconnect to your true core – to Source – and restore flow. It’s time to find the boundaries of your true identity – who you are and what you want. From this core place you become the person who knows themselves and therefore meets their own emotional needs. You are ready to be real, to make new choices guided and tapped into the energy that comes from your core identity. Be true to yourself and you will find a new Source to bring to your life – you.

Don’t be fooled into going back to the old self just because others positively affirm you and you enjoy the temporary rewards of your energy top-ups. Your Higher Self is telling you to identify and connect to this wound (emotional Source) that is fuelling this false sense of self. This connection is your path to healing. Let the emotion at the linchpin of your identity make itself known (fear of loss, abandonment, a lack of acknowledgement, emptiness, and so on). Let this emotion give you the information it holds  for you so that you can relax and let go of having to maintain your false identity.

The post Your Addictions Are Keeping Your Old Identity in Place appeared first on The Diamond Process.

Your Higher Self is asking you to view an event, situation or person differently. At the moment your perception is clouding your judgement and you are missing the opportunities being presented to you. Each opportunity is here to help you understand and see yourself in a way you have never been allowed: centred, powerful, loved and connected in flow.

When you judge events, situations and people, you create a line or space between you and what you judge. That line says you are different from what you are judging. You create a sense of safety by seeing the difference between your and another’s actions, between how you and they conduct their lives. Through invisible lines of judgement ‘those’ people and events are kept safely at a distance, across town, in other countries or societies. In judgement you provide in your mind solutions where you ‘know better’. You have the values and wisdom to put the world to rights. In this way you keep from facing your judgement of self. This holds your fragile identity in place – what you know and value is kept safe.

This form of judgement points a finger as a defence: ‘If the other person hadn’t done “this” I wouldn’t have done “that” ’. When you judge the other person you make them responsible for your reaction. In the illogic of judgement, cause and effect are dissociated. You do not associate any of your feelings with your own values, perception or actions because your judgement tells you the cause is out there, the blame is given to someone or something else.

But consider the possibility that if you didn’t judge there would be no separation between your subject of interest and yourself – the line you have drawn between yourself and the other person would not exist. Without this line of separation your identity would feel threatened, filling you with feelings of insecurity. In your fear of judgement, you may draw a fine line between yourself and what you judge for safety but you are actually linked to precisely what you judge. In fact there is no separation but more an extension of who you are and the life you live. The line of judgement you draw is based on your value system, your focus and your ability to perceive; your rules, your judgement and your safety.

In choosing this card your Higher Self is asking you to re-examine the way you judge the people and world around you. Your judgement is separating and dividing your inner self. Underlying any of your internal conflicts are the judgements that cloud your perception and prevent you from finding the solutions you seek. In your judgement you have forgotten that you are at the centre and a participant of what you judge. Instead of creating for you the freedom you seek, your judgement is tying you to all that you criticise. With all its lines and divisions your judgement is creating a cage limiting what you experience and what you receive.

Instead of passing judgement through your wounds, past or limited mind-set, see judgement for what it is: a link to the boundaries of your identity and its rules of safety. These are the aspects of self-judgement your Higher Self is asking you to heal. In the release of your judgements – whether they are sealed in your feelings of powerlessness, anger or fear – you will forge a new sense of self. The emotional connection between yourself and another person or situation created through your judgement will be dissolved. Let go of your fear and the love that is waiting behind your judgement will flow in abundance.

See each of your judgements as a point of interconnectedness between yourself and another. Where you judge is where you are linked, and at the moment your interconnectedness is like a tangled ball of wool. Your lines of judgement – envy, anger, resentment or superiority – have crossed over and created all sorts of knots tying yourself up or tying you to people and situations. As a result you experience a struggle to knit and weave the life you want. The creative flow of love stops at every knot. The key again is to understand that when you judge others is where you are also harsh in your judgement of yourself.

Ultimately judgement is the tool of compassion. Your Higher Self asks you to find the boundary of yourself that needs to heal. Behind your judge-ment is compassion. Those who trigger our judgement the most lead us to where we will most feel love – the opposite of what we believe. When we judge, we are in fear. Love is what you feel in the absence of fear. Once you stop judging yourself, the past, or person who wounded you, you will find the purpose of your journey is to experience this love. Compassion for being human is your gateway to freedom. Once you feel compassion, your need to protect yourself through judgement will be released and the flow of love will be restored.

You can’t force compassion that is futile because you will miss the point of the creative force behind your judgement. To find compassion you simply need to identify the point of contact between yourself and the other person (or situation) because this point of self-judgement asks only to be acknowledged in order for the flow of love to be restored. It is in this space of awareness that you will find yourself.

Search your life for the seeds of your judgement. At first you may not see all the rules you have inherited from your parents, caregivers, school teachers. When you become aware of where you judge yourself and others you will discover where the seeds are planted. Let these judgements be your link straight to the core of yourself. They will give you the information you seek – the rules that make up the inventory of your identity – the rules you live by that are limiting your perception and life. Some of your rules are working well for you. However, some are not and you are being asked to reset these particular boundaries of your identity through how you acknowledge yourself and what is important to you, how you convey that information both to yourself and others, how you use your voice to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’, how you share in order to keep yourself safe. In your awareness of where you judge, you will be able to set new boundaries of love around the parts of yourself that are not healed. In building these new skills you will find your compassion – compassion for the situation you are in and for the person who has created these circumstances for you.

Don’t sit on the high bench pronouncing your judgements, as you will always be alone. Instead wake up to the glories of your judgement. Let each judgement help you to identify the ways in which you are disconnected from the Source of who you are. When you find that part of yourself through your judgement of another, the knot of wool will unravel, and flow between you and the other person will be restored so that your individual strands of wool can now be woven together into a tapestry of combined beauty and strength. In this way you spread a ripple of healing onto those around you. Use your judgement as a light on the path to love. You are ready to perceive the world through the eyes of love. Compassion is your path to understanding yourself as the centred, powerful and loved self that you are and to experience that connection and flow.

The post Let Go of Your Judgements to See the Truth appeared first on The Diamond Process.