You ARE Special – You Don’t Need to BE Special
The emotional foundation that you formed in childhood is slightly distorted and you only feel loved or balanced when taking energy from others. This distortion creates a dependence on an external source of energy rather than finding it from within. Your guides and your Higher Self now feel you are ready to heal this foundational aspect of your emotional self in order to access the love and balance you require (and seek) from within.
Our emotional foundation and how we exchange energy is determined very early in our development. As children we are looking for ways to get what we want – primarily a feeling of being more connected to others and more loved. Without proper parenting or teaching to guide us towards self-love and the ability for a healthy exchange of mutual energies, we navigate our childhood journey by naturally and constantly interpreting the world around us for clues on how to behave in order to get what we want.
In this way our young minds recognise very quickly that what society promotes and holds in high-esteem is achievement – success by doing rather than being. We come to understand that our beingness or being alive is not enough. There is always a system of comparison to others to assess our value largely through accomplishments. Those who achieve are deemed the special ones. Special people are granted special privileges. We observe that celebrities don’t have to wait in queues, are often showered with gifts and get paid tremendous sums of money. These ‘special’ celebrities gain the respect of our time, focus and our aspiration to become ‘special’ like them.
Posters of our favourite heroes – sports stars, singers, actors, writers, adventurers or soldiers in daring acts of bravery are plastered all over our childhood bedroom walls. We start to mimic these heroes striving to stand out somehow, to gain external validation, respect and admiration. If, however, we are not taught in early life to value ourselves, we can easily become dependent on these external sources of energy creating the distortion your Higher Self is now asking you to heal.
Achievement, our young minds recognise, is not the only way that will gain us our ‘special’ status. We notice that a broken ankle, a car accident, an illness or other ailments such as asthma or allergies create a ‘special’ need and receive their own form of external energy and ‘special’ attention. Also, within a family structure, children will take on specific roles in order to carve out a ‘special’ niche: the good student, the troublemaker, the musically inclined, the star athlete, the messy one, the neat one, the peacekeeper, etc. When the child carves out their niche they no longer have to compete for their parents’ (or teacher’s) attention – which is a conditional love – ‘do this and we will love you’. The child has locked into an external energy source that at the moment from the child’s point of view, is the most effective solution at hand. The warm feeling of love they received from their parents (even as an admonition) is what they are now as an adult programmed to expect from their ‘special’ behaviour, quality or condition.
If you need to keep being special in order to receive love, you’re missing the point. You need to be yourself. That’s what makes you special. In choosing this card, you are unable to fully function as your core self. You are seeking to be special in order to receive these external gifts of love and you have now become addicted to it. In order to discover your true self, you need to identify the gap that keeps you from your capacity to love yourself and from simply being yourself.
The way to self is through understanding that there is an emotional void within you and this emotional void cannot see itself. There is nothing there; no problem exists; there is no solution; it is empty. When you experience the void you are triggered to take the actions required to fill the void. You create another experience as a victim, or overachiever, or bad boy, or superhuman – and you become like a heat-seeking missile looking outside of yourself for someone or something to validate you. Only by filling the emotional void from within through the acceptance of your being will you discover the emotional balance you are seeking.
What are your special needs? Make a list of the special needs you have. You can’t drink coffee, tea, alcohol; you need a gluten-free diet; you can’t enter supermarket malls because the energy is too harmful for you. Or list the ways you judge yourself as separate from others whereby no one else has your issues, your fears, your problems; no one had a childhood like yours; no one feels like you because you are special. Are you just tired of being on the treadmill of having to create yet another success to be special through your achievements? These questions reveal emotional voids you seek to fill within from Source.
Look at this emotional void clearly to identify all the aspects of self that are underdeveloped and therefore cannot create the emotional balance you seek. For instance, you may wish to paint a picture, you may wish to sell it, but the part of you that is underdeveloped is where you lack the confidence to see the project to fruition. This lack might be a social skill or it might be a lack in the ability to paint. Look at the void to see what is incomplete within you. Each emotional void identifies an aspect of self that is ready to develop. In the case of the higher achiever the emotional void needs to be filled with the ability to rest. Look to the emotional void to find your ‘special’ self from within.
Through this healing you will come to recognise and value being you. You will be able to connect fully with self and therefore with others in a mutual exchange of energy – like a dance of love – with a give and take, a flow, a back and forth, a sharing of each other’s gifts of love and light.
