Clarity from the Misperceptions of Your Child Mind
In choosing this card you are being asked to change a fundamental perception about yourself. You are asked to see the love that exists within you and understand that you are lovable, you can be loved and you will love. Love is an energy of connection to self and flow that is there for all of us; when we connect to this energy we feel it. Love is as simple as that.
You are misperceiving events through your child’s eyes always seeking outside approval, love and security. The result is you are self-conscious all the time, questioning whether you deserve love. For instance, when others don’t agree with you, don’t respond to phone calls or emails, when you don’t get immediate feedback, and so forth, your child mind is reactive and fearful that you’ve done ‘something wrong’. You constantly assess whether you matter, are necessary or important, and perpetually worry and seek external validation that your contribution is appreciated and valued. This mispercep-tion makes the situation all about you. You cannot see the possible factors in the other person’s experience – they’re really busy, they had an emergency, someone at home is sick, and so on. You see from a child’s point of view.
Another misperception from your child’s mindset is the inability to act under your own will or take control of your life. Therefore you experience difficulty expressing what you want and become an audience to other peo-ple’s needs or ideas, thinking they are better or more important than yours; you feel that you should go with the flow or are fearful of missing out; your fear of rejection and other people’s judgement means that you live and are moulded by other people’s rules. This misperception is caused by a lack of understanding that you deserve love. Through the eyes of your inner child you cannot acknowledge your own love for self and continue to seek other people’s love to validate you.
Because your child mind is often unable to see any separation between themselves and another person, you continue to let other people set the boundaries of love for you. Your inner child’s desire to please means they do not link into their own Source and they disconnect from the love within.
Lacking in confidence, your child mind moulds its identity around the other person’s values, judgements, opinions and way of doing things. As a result you the adult struggle to distinguish yourself from what you see; from the projects you are involved with; or from what you read or view on the television or in the newspapers. You continue to find a boundary outside of yourself to give shape to your world and as a measure by which you can safely judge that world. This over-identification or a lack of separation of self from another person (or situation) creates a joining of your energy field to whatever is in front of you.
You are ready to unlink from others in order to perceive the world through a new filter and create a mould from within. It is time to connect to you in order to connect to Source. Rather than always seeking to fill your need for love from the outside and being on constant guard to defend yourself from rejection, you are being guided to open yourself to the flow of love from Source. Part of your struggle to complete this process of individuation – the unlinking from others to live under your own will – is an engagement within to keep this childhood story in place. You vigorously defend keeping alive the behaviours that have kept you safe until now. But this card is telling you it is your time for growth.
The key to clarity is understanding that learning to love yourself is indeed an emotional skill; it’s not magic, hey presto I feel love for myself. Love is a skill, and like any skill, it can be taught and learned, and gets better with practise. Let go of the fear that says you have to be deserving of what you want, or deserving of love. Real love is not dependent upon outside sources, on the condition that you are perfect; that sort of love makes us self-conscious and unavailable for love; that sort of love means we spend our energy living by the rules of being perfect through external achievements, sporting, academic or otherwise; perfect body, perfect grades, perfect everything. This misperception of love takes us further away from the flow that is love because we avoid the very substance of love, which is to connect with what is.
Love is flow. To love and be loved is part of our basic nature. The ability to feel love comes from the connection to oneself deep into the core of you. This connection to your core is your link into the flow of the energy of love which is always available when you plug into it. When you connect to flow love is present. The energy of love is that simple. When you connect to self you will feel the flow of love and your ability to connect with others will change. When you disconnect – through judgement, fear, separation etc. – you unplug and are unable to feel the flow of love. To understand and develop your ability to experience love, simply assess ‘Do I feel the flow of connection or am I disconnecting from what is in front of me?’ Assess who you connect with, and who you disconnect from (when you don’t use your own rules of love but rather try to find that flow by moulding your identity through another person). Once you develop this skill and become comfortable with the feeling of flow, you will learn to recognise where you are disconnected.
An example of this would be a moment of disconnection with a friend. In your friendship the connection between you is the conduit to love. When you share a special moment together you feel connected. Through this connection you feel love in the moment. However, disconnection occurs when you find out this friend has been talking about you behind your back. In your upset and anger you unplug from Source and in that moment of disconnection you don’t feel love. You find yourself withholding from your friend and refusing to speak to them. The skill of love is developed through the practice of reconnecting. When your judgement and anger at your friend unplugs you from Source you are being asked to go back to your core to identify your rules of love (and your constant fear of rejection), to understand the boundaries that were crossed and to reconnect to flow. Developing the emotional skill of love will strengthen your ability to stay connected and in flow, no matter what occurs between you and another person or outside circumstance. Love is always there for you.
In choosing this card you are ready to break from the mould of your childhood mindset and gain clarity from its misperceptions of love. You are standing at a doorway to redefine yourself, to mould your own identity through your ability to love yourself. It is time. Connect to your core and reset the rules of love. Enter the flow and the love will come automatically.
